Reader: I’ve written and rewritten this article close to 256 times over the years. It’s a tricky line to walk you know – serving the people around you and still having deep feelings about potentially controversial issues in the world… I mean, Church. In an effort for my heart to come through the pages and leap into yours, I wrote a letter. It was the only way that made sense. The only words that I could get out of my head that allowed my tone to be conveyed came through in this rewrite. I hope it speaks to you – but most importantly, I pray that He speaks to you.
Dear 22-year-old-in-full-time-ministry-leadership me,
Girlfriend, you better put the seatbelt on because you are about to take the ride of your life. I know you hate rollercoasters, but you know the ones that have the seatbelt and ALSO the heavy duty latch that comes over you? Perhaps you should invest in one of those as well. I’m writing to you from a different time, one that you wouldn’t believe even though I’m going to tell you about it.
I’m sorry that this calling is tough – but I am not sorry that you have it. You are better on the other side of all the things that are about to come at you. There will be heart break and hardship, death and division – and you will stand the test of them all because you have chosen obedience. I know this was your last choice and that your dream of being the White House Press Secretary looks nothing like your life looks now – but you are called to this. There will be seasons of heart ache that leave you sobbing on the floor of your living room – but you will stand up again. There will be people who speak to you inappropriately – but you will navigate it with grace. There will be those who question whether or not you’ve “got it,” – to your face and behind your back, because of your gender, not because of your calling. Because you have learned the value of a quiet, private life, (not a secret life, just a private one) even women will question your validity and worth because you are yet to be married and have children of your own. They have no idea what you have gone through, they have never asked. Press on, girl. “Wife,” and “Mom,” are prayerfully in your life’s calling, just not in this season. People close to you will say that your church’s leadership team is in the wrong for hiring you because you are a woman. Those people haven’t prayed one milli ounce as much as you have about your calling. Keep going, girl. Keep seeking Jesus. Keep doing the next right thing.
You will wake up one morning to be accused of only “ministering to the girls,” while having lost sleep the night before serving a young man on the verge of suicide while his family sobbed in their living room. But the accusers don’t know that. They can’t. So you lean into Jesus and move forward with your day. You will be spoken to in budget meetings like you are an absolute moron. You will leave those meetings and call your big brother who walks you through thinking with a brain different than yours, making the suggested changes, and cheers you on because he knows what you’ve got. You will be accused of being emotional in a leadership meeting and therefore, shut off all emotions for years… that seemed to be what the people wanted. There’s no emotion in any leadership, right?
You will call your Dad crying more times than you will ever be able to count because of the way that you are spoken to. He will remind you that you are in charge of your response and your response only – not theirs. You will want to write letters like this for years, but you don’t out of fear.
Girl, you will serve with some of the most incredibly gifted ministry staffs in the world. You will have the opportunity to learn from Pastors who are passionate about God’s Word and seeing people transformed by it. You will serve under gifted leaders who see your drive and calling and empower you in that. Soak them up. Ask to be mentored. Bring the coffee and sit and sip and listen. Listen, listen, listen – there is more wisdom in those quiet team moments than many are blessed with in a lifetime. Most recent to the time I am writing you from now, you will serve under a Pastor who not only affirms your calling, but challenges you in it. He will never let anyone speak to, or about you, in a way that doesn’t offer grace. He will protect you.
You will read books like “Gifted to Lead,” and “Lean In,” but most importantly you will throw yourself into the entirety of the Word of God and seek Him like you never have in your life. You will ask questions and fill journals and leave tear stains on pillows questioning the naysayers. “Are they right?” you will cry to Jesus very often, early on, and in a stillness that you will remember for years, He will wash peace over you and say, “just follow Me.”
You will experience abundance like you never have before. You will see young lives changed and become world changers in their own rights and their parents will say, “thank you, Megan,” and you will say “Jesus. He’s the best!” And He is, and you will believe that He is with every breath that you take.
You will experience seasons of your own loss and heartache and people will call you and say, “Are you okay to do this right now?” and you will persist because this is not a job, this is a calling and Jesus is much bigger and more present than you could ever explain to them on the phone while choking back tears.
You will be questioned.
You will be texted inappropriate things.
People will talk about the clothes you wear, your makeup, and your hair.
You will see really incredible sides of leaders and really ugly sides of others.
You will be the only woman in the room and at the table a LOT early on.
They will sometimes engage you and sometimes not – but you listen – you’ll be wiser for it.
There will be people who will make you feel like you have to prove something to them because you are a woman in this position.
You do not.
Your only job is to be obedient and do the next right thing – and if you can keep doing that – you will make it. You will make it.
Ask for help when you need it. Tell the truth when it’s hard. Laugh with kids until you are crying and your stomach hurts – and tell them about the joy that comes from a life with Jesus in the same breath. Keep in touch with them when they get older – you will see God’s hand over their lives and it will make you peacefully proud. They are listening and watching you lead. Remember that. Your life is a story that they get to play a role in and they’re observing your responses and your words and your reactions to things. You have an obligation to always point them toward Jesus.
You will experience joy after joy, dream realized after dream realized. You will say that your life is full and fun – because it is. You will have an abundant life because you have Jesus. You will see things and experience things and realize things in this next decade of your life that will make you who you are and allow you to see how BIG God really is.
This is hard but God is good and you are walking in your calling. 90% of your days will be good and full and exciting – but the 10% that are not – are NOT. You pursue Jesus in the form of reading and prayer and journaling and community and you will be okay. You get to be a part of a really big Kingdom story here on earth and it will amaze you.
You see, when it comes to serving God and building the kingdom, there is more than enough room for all of us – male, female, black, brown, white, rich, poor. The question is not whether we have a certain attribute identifier, the question is: Are you obedient to the things of God and His Word? If so, lead on girl, lead on.
Don’t give up,
Megan-from-the-future
Picture from financialexecutives.org