Are you familiar with the story of Abraham and Isaac in the Bible? As a refresher, when Abraham was 99 years old, God promised him and his wife Sarah, then 89, a son. You read that right. 89 and 99 years old and expecting a child.
Here’s the story:
“God also said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you are no longer to call her Sarai; her name will be Sarah. I will bless her and will surely give you a son by her. I will bless her so that she will be the mother of nations; kings of peoples will come from her.” Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, “Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?” Then God said, “Yes, your wife Sarah will bear you a son, and you will call him Isaac. I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his descendants after him…” (Genesis 17:15-19)
At last, the thing Abraham and Sarah wanted most in the world was actually happening.
So, Sarah soon became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham, at the very moment which had been predicted. Abraham, then a hundred years old, named the child Isaac. Issac would go on to become a crucial character in the biblical narrative, fathering Jacob, the eventual Patriarch of the Israelites.
When Isaac was young, God told Abraham, “Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about.” (Genesis 22:2, NIV)
Could you imagine hearing that from God? You’ve begged and pleaded and prayed for this thing for so long, and he gives it to you, and now he needs you to give it back. Not only does he need you to give it back, but he asks you to sacrifice it at His altar. I’M SORRY, WHAT?!
So Abraham took Isaac, two servants, and a donkey and set off on the 50-mile journey. When they arrived, Abraham ordered the servants to wait with the donkey while he and Isaac went up the mountain. He told the men, “We will worship and then we will come back to you.” (Genesis 22:5b, NIV)
Isaac asks his Dad where the lamb was for the sacrifice, and Abraham answers that the Lord will provide the lamb. I’m guessing that a sad and confused Abraham bound Isaac with ropes and placed him on the stone altar.
Just as Abraham raised the knife to kill his son, the angel of the Lord called out to Abraham to stop. The angel said he knew that Abraham feared the Lord because he had not withheld his only son. The thing he had wanted most.
Insane obedience.
When Abraham looked up, he saw a ram caught in a thicket by its horns.
He sacrificed the animal, provided by God, instead of his son.
Then the angel of the Lord called to Abraham and said:
“I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me.” (Genesis 22:16-18, NIV)
Abraham obeyed God.
In the midst of incredible heart break and through insane trial, he kept choosing obedience. Isaac was the thing he wanted most in the world, God gave him Isaac, and then asked for him right back. Abraham obeyed – right away and all the way.
While God has not asked me to sacrifice my child at an altar, I have fought through a season of laying all sorts of Isaacs on the altar of the Lord. All of the things I wanted most in the world required open handedly allowing Jesus to take them back from me – out of my grip, and out of my control.
A perfect Megan world which I once thought was secure, safe, and comfortable, became wildly disrupted by trial after trial, and some tremendous heartbreak. Confusion, frustration, and hurt led the way into my last few trips around the sun, while joy, peace, and love took a back seat.
The grip of Control-o-Megan had been thwarted by the plans of God, and He used that season to ever so gently peel my fingers away from things I was clinging to too tightly to that weren’t Him.
Lay your Isaacs down, Megan. Give them to Me.
I journaled through tears one morning, I don’t know why you’re asking for these things back, I wrote. This is so painful.
I know, Trust Me.
Abraham was super righteous and obedient, much unlike myself. Yikes. He had one Isaac to lay down – one thing he loved so much that it completely broke his heart to give back to God. In my Isaacs season, God was asking me to trust Him only. To give Him back what wasn’t mine to start with. These were things that God was calling me to give back to Him, to lay at His altar, to let go of in order to be more obedient to His calling and plans for my life.
Everything I once thought was, wasn’t… and on this side of that season, I know I am better for it.
My heart has been turned inside out, cleaned, made new, more whole, expanded, and set back inside of me.
Friendships, relationships, ministry, good plans, — all very good gifts, also all very terrible Gods.
When I worship things that aren’t Him, when I pay more attention to voices that aren’t His, when I cling tightly to stuff that doesn’t respect His Will – He asks me to give it back. Every time.
Laying all of my Isaacs down means that I’ve had to submit to God that which is of utmost value to me, right back to Him.
Friendships. Relationships. Family. Ministry. Haiti. – that’s just my short list.
Even in the midst of incredible heart break as I’ve traveled up my own Mount Moriah with each, wondering if he’d really call me to give it back once I got there – each time He has.
…and each time I’m better for it.
…and each time I’m stronger because of it.
…and each time I know Him more.
Which is right where I want to be.
Because I am a complete disaster otherwise.
I will climb Mount Moriah every single time if it means that I get to be that much closer to the Creator and Sustainer of my life.
Which of your Isaacs do you need to lay down?
What are you clinging too tightly to that isn’t Jesus?
Control-o-Megan is now in recovery and can tell you that the other side of sacrifice is better. . it is a life of obedience.
Thank you, Megan, for writing this post today. You are the reassuring voice of God to me as I surrender my only child to the perfect Parent. Giving up control-that I never really had- is both frightening and freeing. God bless your ministry.
Wow. Just wow. If this is the beginning of your writing career, you are destined to touch many lives with your written word. I love your style…a combination of true biblical scripture with your own “Megan language.” I can hear your voice, and it’s quite appealing to the reader! Best wishes as you follow His plan, for which you can never go wrong. A gift has certainly been bestowed upon you! 💝🙏💝
Come on over for coffee…. me and my Isaacs…. we are coming out!!!!!
I have a closet full of Isaacs I won’t let go of…. they’re like a safety blanket. A big bad blanket. Your words make so much sense. Thank you for helping me clean out my closet.