For My Pop.

On Friday August 9th, I had the privilege of eulogizing my Pop at his beautiful service. He was one of my favorite men in all the world.The eulogy read:

To make it into adulthood with grandparents alive really is something incredible.
But to make it into adulthood with OUR grandparents alive is more than incredible… it’s a treasure, and a gift, and something I know that none of us take for granted – because we talk about it often.
Because we’re more than cousins, we’re actually good friends.
Because we were raised by the kids of Ken & Joanne Ford.

Sixty years ago, our MomMom and PopPop made a decision to raise their family with closeness; with roots that sunk deep into the ground he plowed and labored through, and with love that she will never run out of.

Our PopPop was a hard working man – whether farming, or later in his life at the DRBA.
and as a result, he has hard working children.
and hard working grandchildren.
Work is nonnegotiable if you are in the Ken Ford Family bloodline.

Hard work was a value he held – that he passed down to us.
And we’re proud to pass that value on to our children and their children and their children. Who will tell stories of Great-Great-Great PopPop Ken Ford, who used to get so excited for snow days that he would spend days ahead of time making pots of soup and chili to bring into all his friends while they were on storm duty.

And along the way of his life, our PopPop made choices.
Choices to choose love over hate, acceptance over division, and relationships with his children and grandchildren over focusing on whatever ridiculous thing we were doing that drove him crazy in that moment.

His favorite place to be was with us, and we know that, because he told us – all the time.

Summers on Summit Bridge Road were filled with wonder because he let us live like kids. He let us put basketball nets in his driveway, and swing sets in his yard, and let us “help him” in his big garden which grew all of our vegetables for the summer and some of the winter! He let us use picnic benches as diving boards from Mr. Reynold’s hill into our pool – and he kept the pool, even though it was annoying him and hard work, because he knew we’d all gather there.

He watched 7,824 shows of us singing and dancing on his screened in porch and he clapped at every single one. His favorites were anything we did by Shania Twain, or anything that made our MomMom smile. Which was all of them. He disciplined us and drove us crazy and sometimes told us to “please just go outside,” but there’s a lot of us and we’re really loud and he was probably getting up for work in the morning, so, that was a fair thing to ask of us!

As we grew older, he asked about our jobs, and would say “I love you” when we arrived and when we left, and he would unashamedly cry talking about us if we weren’t there or if we were. Neighbors and friends would treat us like royalty upon meeting them because he talked about us as though we were the best things that ever happened in his world.
But we think we were the third best. 
Second to his kids, and third to his wife.

Our PopPop taught us how to love well. He was a little bit stubborn and a lotta bit ornery, but the love of his life, our MomMom, was the perfect match for him. If you ever wonder if God has a person for everyone, you can just look at them and know. They taught us that when something is hard you figure it out, that disagreements don’t mean you give up, and that young love is still strong 60 years later. At the end of Chad’s wedding just this May, I looked over and they were both in their pajamas sharing a chair in Aunt Cindy’s living room – holding hands and smiling at all that was going on around them. They were having their own conversation ABOUT US, as if we weren’t there – but we were…. and so were they – and it was perfect

Our PopPop had 6 children, 15  grandchildren, and 11 great grandchildren and every single one has their own relationship with him. When we were with him, he never wanted to let us go. In November, on our annual black Friday shopping trip, we couldn’t even leave his house because whoever was sitting next to him got their hand held for a million minutes while he was talking. We were in a hurry to get to the outlets then, but I guarantee if we could all turn back time and hold his hand and listen to him talk, we would.

We know that he was proud of us. Just recently, I was in the same room as his Pastor. I walked out of the room for a moment and he looked at my MomMom and said “Meg… tell him about Meg..”  My life is pretty unremarkable, really, but to him, it was remarkable. Remarkable enough to brag about to his Pastor – and I’m certain he would brag about each one of us if anyone gave him that long enough time.

We will miss him greatly.
We will miss him telling us to be quiet, rolling his eyes, and giving us the look of “what in the world are ya’ll doin now”
We will miss his “Love you bud” or “Love you girl,” whenever we leave him.
We will miss his smile, his tears, but mostly we will miss the way he cooked us breakfast.
All of us. Like it was nothing.

On the morning that he went to live with Jesus forever, Jeremy sent our cousin group text a picture of some scrapple he was eating. That made some of us cry, some of us laugh, and some of us jealous. Mostly, we were wondering why Jeremy already had scrapple in his fridge, but, he is his PopPop’s grandboy, after all.

Our life has been filled with goodness because it’s been filled with each other, and he made sure of that. Orchestrating huge family vacations to Myrtle Beach or the Outer Banks, where we all had to caravan for 10 straight hours and he was the line leader. Because if we were going to do something – we were going to do it together. He knew he was knitting together the most beautiful tapestry of our family, and we just thought he was doing it to annoy us. He let us play absurd games around his house like the fart touch, and he even played along.  He went along with it when we shortened his name to Pop, from PopPop, and then to Turkey for awhile. He really didn’t care much what we were doing as long as we were doing it together. Like his daughters, he took bites of everyone’s subs from Capriotti’s when he couldn’t decide what he wanted, and he let us convince him into a 24 hour walking fundraiser for the last 20 years where we made him dress up in some absurd outfit like a golfer, a man from the Candyland game, or a clown.  We threw a million parties at his house and told him about them AS we were setting them up – or the day before because we needed him to help us get the yard ready, put up a tent, or get chairs from somewhere.  He always went along with it – because he knew that everyone would be together – and that was his favorite thing.

Our Pop-Pop has battled FOR us. 
We are not the easiest tribe in the world – because while we are filled with love, we’re also filled with a little gusto – each of us. Whether we were walking on life’s straight line or not, our PopPop was walking with us. If we strayed, he was there. If we wandered, he was there. If we ran ahead, he’d catch up to us. He never let us do anything alone. We have had some pretty hard times and he has been our constant. He and our MomMom always just show up for us – good, bad, and sometimes ugly. And it didn’t matter what had happened – because they were going to figure it out with us. They always bailed us out. Her, with love, him, with loving discipline and the best hugs – the kind where you knew you were definitely in trouble but it didn’t matter because at least you were safe now.

One of the best things that ever happened to us besides each other, is when PopPop embraced technology. When our PopPop moved into the world of flip phones from his first blue Nokia, we were a few steps ahead of him. He heard our phones ringing with songs, you remember ringtones, right? He asked if he could have a song on his phone? He and Aunt Fran were sitting in his living room on Summit Bridge Rd. and we spent hours adding songs for them. Aunt Fran, choosing “Because He Lives” by the Gaither Vocal Band, and  The one he chose for his ring tone for MomMom? “She thinks my tractor’s sexy!” Second best to the ringtones was the day he got Facebook. We convinced him for a short time that the “status” button was actually the search button. Oh man, it was so good for us for awhile. Then he wised up to us! Things like, “Will Obama’s face be on mount Rushmore?”  ‘What is new password?” and “Saints look like the team to beat in playoffs?” “looking for shed 13×30” “where to buy shed 13×30” and finally, “shed 13×30!” were things that showed up. We never really quite understood our PopPop’s use of Facebook. I looked just yesterday and he has three Facebook pages. We never knew which one he was really on – but we were just proud he had one at all so we would write on all of them!

And while he was an old farmer using new technology, he used it for so much good.
One of my most favorite posts he ever wrote said this:
I have been challenged by Murray Drummond for the 5 day 5 thankful for challenge.

Day 1 1. I am thankful for the day I accepted the Lord in my life.
2. I am thankful for my family.
3. I am grateful to the Lord for being a two time cancer survivor.
4. I am thankful for my wife for hanging in there for 55 years.
5. I am blessed to have a home in a very peaceful area.”
 
And now we know, that he has an eternal home, in the MOST peaceful area.
We’re certain that his Heavenly home is filled with gardens, birds, and lots of noisy kids running around – just like he’s used to.